|
Home
TopPicks Blog
VB.Net code
Miscellaneous
Contact Me |
Economic Models explained with cows...
>>
>> SOCIALISM:
>> You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
>>
>> COMMUNISM:
>> You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you >> some milk.
>>
>> FASCISM:
>> You have 2 cows. The State takes both >> and sells you some milk.
>>
>> BUREAUCRATISM:
>> You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
then >> throws the milk away...
>>
>> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
>> You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
>>
>> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce
the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze
why the cow has dropped dead.
>>
>> A FRENCH
>> CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block
the roads, because you want three cows.
>>
>> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and
market it worldwide.
>>
>> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100
years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>>
>> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You
decide to have lunch.
>>
>> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
open another bottle of
>> vodka.
>>
>> A SWISS CORPORATION:
>> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the
owners for storing them.
>>
>> A CHINESE CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim
that you have full employment, and high
>> bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the
real situation.
>>
>> AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. You worship them.
>>
>> A BRITISH CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>>
>> IRAQI CORPORATION:
>> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you
have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now
you are part of a Democracy....
>>
>> SURREALISM:
>> You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons
>>
>> HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
>> You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed
company, >> using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law
at the bank. Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an >>
associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a
tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows
are transferred via a Panamanian
>> intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder. He sells the rights to all 7 cows'
milk back to the listed company, and proceeds from the
sale are deferred. The annual report says that the
>> company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you
kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.
>>
>> MALAYSIAN CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
>>
>> AUSTRALIAN
>> CORPORATION:
>> You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the
office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>>
>> A Danish Corporation
>> You have 2 cows, and you pay them full sallery, pension, child
benefits and dental care for working 20 hour weeks
>> You charge 68% tax on the profits made from the milk and use
the money made from the 68% tax to buy Carlsberg. You tell the
cows to get naked and go to park to drink the Carlsberg. You
wonder how life could get any
>> better.
>>
>> The EU
>> You have 2 cows, the French are mad that they speak English to
one another. The French, Italians and the Dutch have a row over
what kind of cheese the milk should produce. One of the cows was
born in Greece the other in Sweden. They go to work in Brussels
but spend most of their time in Maastricht. The British don't
want to have anything to do with them and would rather have
American cows. Norway pays for them but doesn't get any of the
milk The milk disappears somewhere in Southern Italy.
>>
>> Cows really do make the world go round...... I love cows....
|
